We see the world through our own experiences and through the lens of our perspective. We also project onto others our own thoughts, feelings and interpretations. Have you ever experienced telling someone, a close friend perhaps, about something you are experiencing and then getting a response that you didn’t expect at all? Have you ever felt misunderstood by someone and then feel baffled as to how they go it all wrong? If you’re a manager or if you hold a leadership role, have you wondered how your behaviours and actions, even micro-messages that you send out such as a raised eyebrow, affect your team or the people you work with?
Our relationships are all affected by how we view situations through our personal lens. This lens is made up of layers of experiences, feelings, emotions, aspirations and so on that sieve through the information that is being presented in front of it. When the information comes out on the other end of the lens, it may look completely different to how it came in.
One of the truths of this world is the fact that we cannot control how others interpret out actions but we can control our own thoughts and reactions. So how can we live a life that respects our own feelings and thoughts, our past and all our experiences to date but also ensure that we have a positive impact on those around us?
Perhaps instead of looking at others, we might take a moment to ask ourselves these questions:
“What is my impact?”
“Are my words and actions having a positive impact on the person in front of me right now?”
“What can I do to create a positive impact on those around me?”
“What kind of leader am I and what kind of leader do I want to become?”
Small and simple acts of personal accountability can shift our relationships with others in a big way. Coaching can help us understand our values and purpose so that we can be self-aware of our impact. If you want to be inspiring, you need to be inspired first and foremost!